I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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