What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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