btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
