We're like a lot better than the average bears
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
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