Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
