If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
