I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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