You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think I have vodka in my lungs
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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