i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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