doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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