dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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