Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
be right there i have to get my cape
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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