a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
