i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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