Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
