Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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