I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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