Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
dude. I can hear the air.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
