used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
