My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
