his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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