oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
