I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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