If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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