he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
