I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
