We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
