Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
