But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
bring money and cleavage
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
