no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
