when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
