Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
