He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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