I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
