If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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