Non-Jews are for practice
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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