I got chris browned last night
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
