Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
