its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
