Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
