Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
