put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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