Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
