She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
