Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
