So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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