He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
