So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
