No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
