Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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