But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
